Recently I've had this weird feeling that I may never reach my goals. Growing up I was always heavy. I don't blame anything other than myself for my weight. The reason why it's taken my 25 years to be comfortable to say I know I have a problem is because I never saw myself as over weight until now.
In the past year I feel I have change my way of thinking, my way of life, and my heath for the better. I have drastically improved my fitness and eating habits. I want to lose the weight to become healthy and attractive. I just sometimes get to stuck thinking it will never happen.
As a teenager I wanted the easy way out and that never worked. As an adult I've realized that there is no such thing as an easy way out. The only reason why I've seen results is because I exercise every day and eat right. I'm not even half way to my goal yet and it's scary.
I'm just scared I can't do it. I'm scared I will never get out of the 200lbs range. I'm scared that I will never feel 100% good about the way I look. I'm scared that the girl who I see in my head will never match the girl I see in the mirror.
I'm not trying to be negative here. I just think that when you want something so bad you can taste it, and it's a long term goal, there are times where you doubt yourself. What I do know right now is that I am motivated and I am making progress. I am going to try my hardest to keep going for as long as I possibly can.
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2 comments:
I'd say you're well on your way to losing that "2" in the front! Your situation reminds me of my best friend from college. She's a genius (for real) talented, witty and was one of those people that everyone said, "oh, she's so pretty in the face, if only she'd lose some weight" which is a crappy thing to say but people did.
Then after college, she got busy and did lose - 140 pounds. And got a modeling contract with Ford modeling agency as a plus size model because her After size was a 12-14 (she's 5'11" also).
So, I see where you are, and because of her, I know you can be there too. And you WILL!
You are doing so GREAT. I've been where you are and I know how you feel. Keep at it - I know you can do it!!!
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